September 21, 2021
When it comes to our friends, we can normally tell a mile off whether what they’re feeling for someone is lust or love. But when it comes to ourselves, however, we’re never able to see things quite as clearly. We can’t see the wood for the trees.
The saying goes that love is blind, but this rings true for lust too. We’re blind to any defects in the object of our affections. But when we’re high on lust, we can also be blind to signs that what we’re feeling might not actually be the real deal. It is very important to understand and know the difference between love and lust. What you think is love may be lust and what you think is lust might be love. In today’s world, dating has all kinds of different levels. From crushes, to silly dates and then commitment, getting into a relationship may not be as easy as it looks. Which brings about these self-questions?
Is it lust or love? Can this relationship survive beyond the sexual connection? Am I actually in love or just infatuated?
Lust vs. love
* Lust is about a physical connection; Love is about an emotional connection.
“Lust feels like you intensely want to have sex with someone, Love feels like you want to have sex with someone and be emotionally close to them, too. Love means you want to spend time with your partner and listen to his or her needs and emotions to feel connected,You also are interested in meeting your beloved’s friends. Lust means you’re more interested in having sex than having intimate conversations or meeting the person’s friends.”
*Lust is impulsive; Love takes time.
“Love is rooted in delayed gratification, while lust is rooted in instant pleasure. Lust feels like sprinting; love feels like a marathon. Love means acceptance; lust means indulgence.”
*Lust skims the surface; Love goes deeper.
“Lust is a state of mind that focuses on body parts, seduction, power, fantasy and excitement. Love is risky and scary on an emotional level. You’re becoming very real and vulnerable with them, trusting them with your fears and hopes, sharing stories of shame and pride, hope and disappointment, and really letting yourself be known. Love is letting your guard down and granting your partner access to areas you don’t even like to visit.”
*Lust is short and sudden; Love is slow and steady.
“Love means hanging on for the long-distance ride; when lust is the primary driver, partners can literally be in and out in one night. Love is rooted in a deep commitment and endurance; Lust is rooted in a longing of the loins and often results in unsatisfying hook-ups. Love is a comforting pilot light that, if fed properly, can fuel a couple for a lifetime. Lust can lead to a roaring bonfire of sex, but sex without a real relationship quickly turns to ashes.”
*Love increases with time. Lust decreases with time.
*Lust feels like a rollercoaster of emotions driven by biological forces and activated by our reward center, driven by desire for pleasure and connection; Love feels like the desire and need for attachment with biological, sociocultural, and psychological factors that determine its development.”
Lust is about you; Love is about them.
“When you lust for someone, you must have them. You need their body or presence in your life as if your life depends on it. Love is not possessive, though. You’ll certainly want someone you love in your life, but if their best life is found apart from you, then you want that for them. When you find that their well-being is a higher priority than your cravings, you’re in love.”
It is only you that can tell what you feel, whether it is love or lust. But again it is possible that you yourself don’t know what you feel…you can send your comments or questions to my email iskuyateh@gmail.com.
TO BE CONTINUED…