BY: HAJA HAWA KOROMA
So many people tend to hide their authentic selves when they get into a new relationship, they do not allow their partners see who they truly are; instead they put on a mask in false pretense for the satisfaction of their partner. By doing this their partners get to fall in love with them because of the perceived personality they showcase and some of these relationships leads to marriage and marriage is a long time for one to constantly hide who they truly are.
One of the reasons why so many marriages tend to fail is because of this reason. Your spouse wakes up one day and see a totally different person from the one they use to date, some may hold on for a while with the hopes that their partner may change or may hold on for a while because of the fact that children have been involved in the marriage etc.
The thing is, pretending to be a person you are not is unhealthy because it takes a lot of work to constantly put up an act. Show your partner your true self and give him/her the chance to choose whether or not he/ she may want to be with you. You never know they might love the part of you that you are trying so hard to conceal.
Because every man wants to marry a modest woman does not mean you have to be so uptight in order to be tagged as the ‘wife material’ type. Some women thinks that by hiding their wants and likes, it will get them to marry a guy, probably because they see the guy as the serious type but they like going out having fun etc. they tend to put on the guys serious personality an act the part as if they too are like that just to impress the guy.
The guy thinking that you are that type of woman would want to tread carefully in order to respect your boundaries, but in actuality he loves the ‘fun type of woman, that’s when the dilemma kicks in, some women or men after marriage tends to treat the marriage as if it is this kind of serious situation where in they should not even play or laugh together cause it’s all about seriousness.
This is so wrong, the only huge difference between dating and marriage is the fact that the relationship is official and legal in the sight of God and man therefore to have a happy marriage you must continue to date your spouse inside the marriage.
You both must continue to have fun as if you were still dating, you must continue to do the things that bonds you together, once in a while you must go out and have fun, engage in different activities that will bring spice into the relationship because forever is a long time to be doing the same thing every day, it gets boring.
Explore new things together, some married people tend to look elsewhere for fun when the marriage starts to get boring or whatever especially the men, what they fail to understand is they ought to try all the crazy things they crave for outside with their wives. Treat your wife as if she is your side chick and girlfriend and do all the things you want to do with other women who you think are more fun, with her.
Sometimes the women are the problem in some homes, some women as soon as they get married everything their husbands request to do with them will be answered with ‘I’m tired’ this is undone. In some homes the husbands puts in the effort of trying to make the relationship lively and fun but the woman constantly puts up an attitude for no reason. The husband may want to go out with them and they will say ‘no I’m tired’ and will want him to stay at home as well, and if the husband says anything you will hear them say ‘you are a married what are you going out for, you should be at home with your family’.
Yes! That man is always with you guys, seven days a week and 365 days a year; if he wants to go out for fresh air let him go. Its tiring to do the same thing every single day, get to work in the money go home and sleep, do the same thing the next day and the next for 365 days and do it all over again, its tiring and boring. Go out with your husband and do new things together, don’t use the children as excuse ladies, find a babysitter for them and go have fun with your husband.
If it’s a case wherein the husband is constantly maltreating the wife that is a different situation and it is a story for another day. But ladies if your man is treating you well don’t be too difficult with him.
For some guys, they want to try different things but always delete their wives from the picture. For instance they engage in extra marital affairs and get the best sex with the other woman, thinking that they don’t want to ruin their wives so they prefer to satisfy their sexual urges outside.
And when they get home they leave their wives unsatisfied sexually because they are too tired or still thinking that they both have forever to be together therefore they must not ruin them sexually. What they fail to understand is, the wife probably wants that amazing and mind-blowing sex they are depriving them of, and another thing is there is no way you will ruin your wife because you guys are having mind blowing sex or exploring different sex positions. Get your wives satisfied guys and deviate from such excuses.
Marriage is a union that must be enjoyed and people must stop going with the perception “marred ose ein sweet one nor dae, Na bia get am”. Why should two people who fell in love and got married be so heartless and wicked to their partners all in the name of being married? Society should stop measuring good woman by how much disrespect and bad behavior she has to endure from her husband, which is far from the definition of being a good woman.
Let us try to be better humans and treat people the way we want to be treated as nobody wants to be treated badly.
