By: Haja Hawa Koroma
Falling in love is easily one of the best feelings ever. That’s why there are so many movies, songs, and reality shows centered on it. But when romantic feelings are mutual, that’s when the real magic happens.
So let’s talk about some not-so-obvious signs to show when you’re mutually falling in love with your partner or already in love with them. Obviously, the sign that shows when someone is falling in love is different for everyone, but there are some basic things that happen for most people when their feelings start to turn from casual to “could this be forever?”
Regardless of whether you’re ready to go all-in or you’re in a skeptic and need to pause situation, here are some signs to show you’re falling in love.
One of the signs is you wanting to know you partner’s love language. Love languages are so important when it comes to lasting relationships because it helps you understand how your partner best gives and receives love. If you’re eager to learn their love language, you might be feeling more than a crush because even though you find joy in doing things for them, you want to do the things that they absolutely love.
You prioritize their needs. Not like, at an expense to your own, of course. But in healthy, loving relationship, ensuring everyone’s needs are met is key to a strong bond. When you’re starting to fall for someone, you want them to feel prioritized, it comes naturally. If you find yourself giving attention to little details like picking up that special, skin-sensitive soap they like to shower with and stuffs like that, this will help give you more clarity on whether you probably think about them as more than just a hookup.
You encourage them. Now, this doesn’t mean pressure or overly pushing them, so don’t get it twisted. But if you find yourself encouraging they based on vulnerable conversations you had with them and you’re starting to care more than just casually. When you both start to remind each other of the goals and desires for life, you can tell you’re falling in love with each other. Just make sure you’re encouraging in a way that’s not overbearing, because it’s not cool.
You value their opinion about future plans. Maybe when things were casual, you wouldn’t consider them when making Big Plans, but when you start falling for them you do not only want their advice, but their input as well. When you’re falling in love, you find yourself asking what they think about going to college, starting new jobs, or trying different things. Their opinion becomes important to you, and you begin to value their thoughts.
You don’t think twice about inviting them over. Anything normal you do in your life, seems like something you would ask them if they want to join you in. You might even ask them what they’re making for dinner or what they’d like, if you usually do the cooking since you always see each other anyway. You do this effortlessly, it’s super casual and you don’t overthink it because it’s just a thing that happens Almost every day.
You start to understand their flaws.
Everyone has flaws and when you start to come to terms with your partner’s less than desirable traits like never putting their dishes in the sink this means you’re likely starting to fall hard. Of course, ignoring red flags is never good, but letting go of the fact that they are a little bit messy compared to you especially if you are a perfectionist. That’s love, my friends.
You notice that literally everything reminds you of them. Eating a chicken nugget? That’s their go-to order. Listening to Celine Dion? Oh, that’s their favorite track. Wearing black jeans? You rocked the same pair on your first date. You pay attention to details.
You don’t feel constantly anxious about getting hurt. A lot of times, people think feeling like someone could really hurt them means they really like someone. Which may be true, but it isn’t love. No one who loves you will want to make you feel like you’re at risk of getting hurt always.
It feels super easy. Yes, relationships take work. But when you’re falling in love with someone, it’s the least work you want to be doing. Which isn’t really work at all.
You’re comfortable with making little sacrifices for them. You wouldn’t put off your responsibilities for them, but if they’re sick and need you to help take care of them instead of going to on a planned outing with friends, you’re totally cool with canceling that.
They’re the something good you think about when everything else is really rough. Work is driving you crazy, but at least you’ve got them to cheer you up when you get home. Oh, and they’re always the first person you want to unleash the latest work drama on too.
You feel safe when you’re around them. It’s hard to describe this feeling, but it really is the best thing in the world. Like nothing bad can happen to you.
You want to show them all of your favorite things. Not because you want them to be their favorite things too, but because you want them to know you better than anyone else.
You have to restrain yourself from talking about them with your friends all the time. If you could, you’d talk about this person constantly. But out of respect for your friends and their sanity, you hold back a little.
You feel their pain. Love can make you feel attuned to your partner’s needs. Your love is growing when you have an increased sense of empathy toward your partner, when they feel sad, you feel sad, when they feel happy, you feel happy. This might mean going out of the way to give them love in the way that they want to receive it, even if it is not the way you would want to receive love.
You crave sex. They don’t call it the honeymoon period for nothing. When falling in love, we are turned on like a megawatt light bulbs. We are willing to have sex nearly anytime and anywhere, forsaking caution and the voice inside telling us to get back to work. This is why anyone who has spontaneous sex anywhere and everywhere (not necessarily in front of people but in private outdoor settings) is probably in love.
You enjoy sex more. For some, sex feels better when there’s a love. You might know you are in love when a sexual experience feels better or more fulfilling. This could be for several reasons, including the ability to be more vulnerable and say what you like and do not like to your partner, trusting your partner during the experience, and not feeling like you will be judged.
You daydream. New love can engage your imagination. You begin envisioning your future together and wanting to make future plans with them. Lust, love, and attachment have evolutionarily evolved to help create lasting attachments and mutual feelings of care, which are feelings that increase sexual engagements.
You feel like a better person. While self-improvement isn’t contingent on romantic love, it can certainly help. Despite the grandiosity, intensity, and obsessiveness that accompany the state of new love, we also become a bigger and better version of ourselves; we are open to trusting, loving, generosity, kindness, we become more present, patient, and forgiving.
You believe things will last forever.
Love can make you feel like you’re in a fairy tale. We merge, sexually and emotionally, enjoying an interlude of perfect harmony that leads us to assume that our partner is ‘right’ for us. We also believe our off-the-charts sex will last forever and that we can avert the boredom, conflict, and disenchantment that other couples have.
No matter what comes in between love will always remain a beautiful thing.
