By: Haja Hawa Koroma
Temptation could force your memories to revisit your ex almost all the time. But does that mean you should date your ex? Dating an ex is a risk that may almost always doomed to failure. If you’re contemplating over dating an ex, you really have to think of that adage, once bitten twice shy, and consider your options beyond that.
Now not all ex reunions end badly.
In fact, it could actually help both partners understand the real value of the relationship. But dating an ex brings a big question into the picture. It doesn’t matter how many months or years have passed since your breakup.
Every now and then, you may find your thoughts taking a walk down memory lane and recollecting your ex and all the happy moments you shared together. You may have a handful or a lot of exes, but almost all the time you’d still have an ex or two that you fondly remember.
You may be in a serious relationship with someone else, or you may find yourself single after getting in a relationship with the wrong partner, but that doesn’t guarantee that you may not think or wish to go back to a certain ex you still think of or were so fond of. Whatever may be the case, you may find yourself thinking about your ex or recreating a fantasy where both of you bump into each other and share a little flings or lives happily ever after.
Dating an ex may turn out to be a great decision depending if you’re trying to get back with your ex for all the right reasons. But if you’re making a mistake all over again because you’re feeling lonely, you’d have no option but to go through the same painful frustrations all over again.
So ask yourself why exactly you have been thinking about your ex and missing them. Is it because you genuinely love them and think the break up was a mistake? Or is it because your relationship with your ex seemed a lot better than the relationship you’re in now? You really shouldn’t try to get back with your ex because you’re having a hard time getting into a new relationship or experiencing another bad relationship.
When you’re in a relationship, you get to do a lot of couple things together, be it in bed, at a party or while lazing at home. But the minute you break up, it’s all over. All of a sudden, you would have to force yourself into a whole new life whether you’re ready for it or not. Even if you’re in a relationship with someone else, sometimes you can’t help but compare your ex with your current partner every now and then. And if your current partner lacks in a few departments when compared to your ex, you’d obviously feel a huge surge of renewed appreciation for your ex.
If you want to get back with your ex it must not be one sided, you must ensure that the both of you want to get back together. If your lover is happy in another relationship and has no interest in getting back with you, you really can’t force your ex into walking out of a happy relationship just for you. The only way you can date your ex is if both of you want to get back together and give the old romance another chance at being happy.
Dating an ex is like treading on tricky grounds because both of you may not always be too keen to accept responsibility for the mistakes that occurred and may have led to the ending of the relationship. Can you really pinpoint where both of you went wrong in the relationship? Dating an ex is somewhat easy cause you both have known each other, your likes and dislikes etc. as compared to a new relationship wherein you have to get to know each other which is a lot of work, but going through the same pain and frustrations all over again is just not worth the effort unless both of you avoid repeating the same mistakes all over again and which is not even guaranteed. That’s why even though it’s easy it’s also risky.
You both must be certain that you have matured emotionally since the breakup. When you’re experiencing a messy relationship, it’s easy for two grown people to behave like children, especially when it comes to things like relationship insecurity, jealousy and communication and if you have not matured since the breakup you both are going to repeat the same mistakes all over again. No matter the kind of circumstances that may have led to a break up, the fact that you have actually had a reason to break up shows that something was wrong somewhere and in order not to have history repeating itself, you both should have been mature enough before giving it another try and you must have changed also for the better.
