BY: HAJA HAWA KOROMA
So many of us gets easily hurt by our partner, I know it’s inevitable to get hurt by one’s partner but some of us gets hurt constantly because of these few reasons that I’m going to highlight.
One of the biggest reasons as to why we get hurt easily is because of our expectations, we expect so much from our partners and when they can’t deliver we get hurt. Reduce your expectations, so many of us expect so much from your partners that we can’t even afford to give ourselves, it’s because we place too much expectations to our fellow human beings; that is the reason why we get heartbroken easily.
Expectations comes in different ways, a lot of you may think that expectations are only in the form of materialistic things, NO! For example, when you are in a relationship you expect that your partner may treat you a certain way just because your friend’s partner is treating him/her in a particular kind of way at which you may want to be treated. You start to draw comparisons forgetting that they are both two different human beings as such they can’t act the same way, this will only lead you to heartbreak and hurt, so deviate from such acts.
Another one is to pay attention to red flags, stop going with how it’s supposed to be; go with what it is. Most of us do self-deceit, we deceive ourselves into believing that what our partners are showing us is not what it looks like and we start making excuses for them just because we don’t want to end the relationship. This happens especially when the relationship is new wherein they demonstrate a bad act but we make excuses for them that it was a mistake and then they do it again and again and then we start telling ourselves that we are going to fix them as time goes by and then things gets out of control and we end up getting hurt and broken in trying to fix them.
Red flags are the initial signs a person demonstrates unknowingly that gives you a clear indication of the kind of person they truly are from the kind of person they perceive to be. They show you everything that they are but you turn a blind eye to their behavior because you want them to be a certain kind of person and you are bent on holding on until they become that person for you.
Deal with what they show you and stop making excuses for them and ask yourself “Am I sure I will be able to do this till the future?”
Furthermore, prepare yourself for any situation and circumstance. You have to understand that life happens for everybody, you need to be prepared for that anytime and day and understand that life has its way of unraveling certain events and they may not always play in your favor.
Often times people break your heart intentionally by knowingly doing something they know fully well will get you hurt if they do it, but sometimes life gets out of our control and shit happens, you have to prepare your mind that circumstances may happen that may break your heart but that’s life we can’t always control everything only God can.
You have to prepare your mind that love is a feeling it can grow and can also die, the problem with most people is that they think that the moment they are in love they own the person they are in love with. They think that they are supposed to own people as if it’s their personal property. No human being is a property to their fellow humans even if you are married. Love is a feeling and it needs to be nurtured for it to grow, as plants needs time, sunlight and water for them to grow so does love. You can’t start with water and in the middle you quit exposing it to sunlight etc. meaning it’s a continuous process of an unending amount of nurturing for as long as you both are together and want love to exist in your relationship.
So these are a few rules to follow in order to avoid unforeseen heartbreaks and breakups. If you pay attention to these three even if your partner breaks up with you, you won’t be shocked as you would have seen the signs, better still you would be the one to break up with him/her as you would have clearly seen reasons not to continue with the relationship.
