By: Haja Hawa Koroma
During the heat and rush of getting married to the people we love, we don’t stop and consider some important factors before getting married. Joy, happiness and the ‘happily ever after’ are all we think of, and often times the most important factors we fail to consider or give a second thought to are the same factors that tend to create endless problems in our marriages.
Forever is a long period of time, therefore, before jumping into a marriage that you hope of lasting forever, takes into cognizance whether or not you and your partner share the same values and are on the same page. As we all know, it is unlikely for two people to have the same taste in everything, you and your partner may not agree on everything or are similar in every way, but make sure that when it comes to the most important things and decisions you both want the same things.
Love is an important reason to get married, yes! But along the line in marriage, you will need something much more than love to sustain that marriage.
One of the things to consider before getting married is to know whether you and your partner agree on work issues. This is one of the major issues that ends a lot of marriages. So many men do not want their wives to work but rather be a housewife.
Don’t get me wrong, it is not a bad thing for a man to be the sole breadwinner for the home, but if you are that type of man make sure you marry a woman whose wants align with your own.
You can’t marry a ‘boss lady’ kind of woman, who believes she must also make her own money and not depend on her husband’s money and expect her to play housewife. This doesn’t mean the woman is wrong or not submissive, it only means her wants are different from yours.
Another thing to consider before getting married is the issue of having kids. Women are often the receivers of all sorts of negative words and actions when it comes to the lack of kids in a home, especially when they’ve been married for a long time.
What a lot of people fail to often realize is that there are many factors surrounding childbirth. Women are not the only ones with fertility issues, men have fertility issues as well.
Therefore, before getting married it is advisable for you to run some of these tests to see whether or not you are both fertile and if one party isn’t at least you will get an idea of who that party is and will encourage your spouse to go through the possible treatment to rectify the situation, instead of being in the marriage for years without a child, which may lead to a lot of problems in between.
Also, when it comes to childbearing, in some cases both spouses may be fertile but they might not be compatible. There is a scientific explanation for that, so make sure you check for all these things before tieing the knot.
Furthermore, religion is a very important part of most people and this must be considered before getting married. Yes! A lot of people are religious and tolerant but some are not. If you and your spouse do not share the same beliefs, religion-wise, make sure you discuss this before getting married.
Have discussions on whether after the marriage you both are religious and tolerant enough for everybody to practice their faith, or whether you might want your partner to switch to your faith. And make sure you are on the same page before getting married, don’t wait after marriage and then try forcing your partner to convert to your faith, cause that will create problems.
Another thing to consider when it comes to the religious aspect is about the kids, if you both are practising a different religion, have discussions about whose religion you might want your kids to practice, or whether you will encourage them to practice both religions and when they are old enough they can choose which religion they want to stick with or whether they will continue to practice both.
So instead of just focusing on the glamour, the celebration, the excitement and all that weddings bring with them, you end up finding yourself in such situations. Always ensure to discuss these kinds of decisions with your spouse before getting married otherwise u might be forced to end that marriage along the line. These are just a few things to consider, there are a lot more than these, so make sure you answer all your unanswered questions before tieing that knot, don’t wait till after.
