By: Haja Hawa Koroma
What is love? This is a million dollar question that a lot of people struggle to answer or struggle to get the answer. A lot of experts and relationship coaches have tried to decipher the answer to this question. I am no expert, but I think that this question does not have a straight forward answer. As simple as the question may seem, the answer to it is quite complicated because it depends on the type of love the person is referring to and it also depends on how the person sees love to be.
A lot of people do not even know that there are different types of love, yeah u may seem surprise but I think there are different types of love. You may disagree with me and that’s fine but it is my opinion. The reason why I say there are different types of love is because, the love between a parent and their child is different from the love they share together as lovers, the love between siblings is different from the love they have for their friends etc and people love different things aside from humans. We have a different kind of love for outfits, food, movies, songs, pets etc. It’s not possible for you to love your parents the same way you love your spouse and mind you I’m not talking about the percentage of love I’m talking about the form, or to compare your love for people to things.
Knowing the answer of what love is, also depends on the one answering that question cause a lot of people sees love differently from the way others sees it, everybody has their own perceptions of what love is, but in actuality there are common and unique signs that shows when someone loves you. These signs are standard signs that no matter what anyone thinks or feels about love they will show these signs if they truly love you.
When it comes to love, some people would say it is one of the most important human emotions. Yet despite being one of the most studied behaviors, it is still the least understood.
While most people agree that love implies strong feelings of affection, there are many disagreements about its precise meaning, and one person’s “I love you” might mean something quite different than another’s, but the willingness to prioritize your well-being or happiness above their own, the choice to commit to helping, respecting, and caring for one another, such as in marriage or when having a child is an act of love.
There have been much thoughts surrounding on whether love is a choice or whether it is something that is permanent or fleeting, and whether the love between family members and spouses is biologically programmed or culturally indoctrinated. Love may vary from person to person and culture to culture. Each of these thoughts about love may be accurate in some time and someplace. For example, in some instances, love may be a choice while in others it may feel uncontrollable.
Love is something that is cultivated between two people and it grows over time, through getting to know each other and experiencing life’s many ups and downs together. It involves commitment, time, mutual trust, and acceptance.
But a lot of people do not understand the word ‘mutual’ when it comes to love. So many relationships end because of this word as people usually assign roles that they think their spouses should play when they love them and detach themselves from those roles.
For example so many women thinks it’s the man’s role to buy them gifts therefore they will not buy anything for their man even on special occasions, but that’s not done.
Unless you are in a position where you cannot afford buying your partner gifts from time to time and he clearly understands that, you should not assign that role solely to the man.
And again, a lot of men assign the forgiveness and commitment and acceptance roles to the women. They expect women to be all forgiving and should commit only to them and accept all their excesses and bad behaviors because they are ‘Men’ therefore it is permissible for them to do whatever, and it is the woman’s role to bear with whatever, whilst they will be doing the opposite. And if a woman does what they do, they would walk out of the relationship and won’t forgive the woman because they think she does not have the right to do what they do.
Mutuality should exist in a relationship, if your partner forgives you when you make a mistake, you must forgive her as well when she does after all she is a human too. And you owe it to your partner to practice what you preach as well; even the Bible says “Do unto others as they do unto you”.
Although almost no one can agree on a single definition of love, most people do agree that love plays a significant role in both physical and psychological well-being. There are numerous benefits that love brings with it. Love’s role in mental health is far-reaching.
People who feel loved by others and who report loving other people tend to be happier, Love can play a role in long-term health.
It doesn’t matter where you fall on the spectrum, whether your love life is blissful or nonexistent, it’s clear that everyone has an opinion on love and what it means in a healthy relationship. So, we will go deeper on the signs in our next readership as we won’t be able to exhaust this topic in one readership.
