BY: HAJA HAWA KOROMA
Do you think that being submissive will make a man love you? Obey all his commands, accept his well-being as part of your responsibility, let him know every time you going out even if it’s a family function, that is still not enough to keep a man because the only way u can keep a man is if that man wants to be kept. If he doesn’t no matter what u do or say he won’t be kept.
People usually misunderstand Submission for Respect. It is clear that most men go for ladies that are submissive in nature than a woman that is strong willed and opinionated. As a man, before going for these type of ladies there is something you must understand, every lady has their breaking point and the day she gets to that point you will be shocked to discover a whole new person right in front of you.
A submissive partner most times don’t have the courage to explain their feelings to you, how exactly they are feeling when it comes to good and bad times or the way you treat them.
They always put the interest of their partner before theirs be it sexually or emotionally. Most submissive partners tend to have this phobia of losing their partner for just one mistake so most of them thinks that by doing the things that always pleases their partner they will keep them forever. What they fail to realize is that for them to have been subjected themselves into a submissive relationship, they tend to lost their voice to speak about issues that are bothering them in the relationship.
Some can be controlling to a level wherein you don’t even get simple pleasures without the approval of their partner. You being in a relationship means there was a consensus between both parties. So being in that relationship means you must take part in every decision you guys are making until you reach to an agreement, both parties must be heard and their thoughts must count. No partner should be dominant in any decision making process that involves your relationship.
Being a submissive sometimes forces you to forget your identity because all you will be thinking of is how to satisfy your partner you will not prioritize yourself and your needs.
Some partners who are extremely selfish may ask for things that are beyond imagination, asking for things they know is impossible to acquire because they are buried in their own stack of selfish desires.
They don’t care what you will do to achieve them or how doing that will make you feel, all they care about is themselves.
In as much as some people find it pleasurable to be a submissive partner, there are also people who are terrified of being a submissive partner but some end up being that person against their volition.
Most people throw thoughts on the repercussions of being with a submissive partner and it all revolves around their phobia on the reaction of the person the day they call off the relationship. A submissive partner will always do anything to satisfy his/her partner and they also have that same energy in keeping their partner.
A psychologist once said this about being submissive “it is a problem only if it is getting that individual into difficulties, if he or she is not happy with it, or it’s causing problems in their personal or professional lives. If it’s not, I’m not seeing that as a problem”.
But assuming that it did, what You would wonder about is what is his or her biology that would cause a tendency toward a problem, and dynamically, what were the experiences this individual had that led him or her toward one of the ends of the spectrum.
So I will have this to say to any individual that thinks being a submissive will keep a partner forever that’s a myth.
Communication is the most important pillar in a relationship and if any relationship lacks that then it nothing but compromise.
Allow yourself to have a level of relationship at which the love, communication and sexual interest align with each other. For a relationship to be healthy no partner should be dominant.
